Agony - I laughed so hard it hurt.
Then again, I can change a tire - and oil, or rebuild an engine. I own a chainsaw and know how to use it. I own a hammer (12 actually, framing(2), ball peen, sledge(2 small, one large) , small claw, brass head, plastic/rubber, rawhide, cross peen, and a geologists hammer - someplace, I had a tacking hammer but I haven't seen it since two moves ago... come to think on it, I haven't seen my cross peen hammer since then either... )
I get why some guys don't have beards... well, no, actually I don't... I've had one for hmm just a bit shy of 40 years. There was a period there when I wasn't allowed - needed to be able to fit a full face respirator incase I needed to walk into a burning building - which is I guess a really good reason to not have one.
I interviewed with EDS when I graduated - they asked me to come to a second interview but said I had to shave off the beard. I looked at the interviewer for a minute then said,
'I think I'll pass. If I wanted to shave my beard I'd have joined the army, at least they'd have let me blow stuff up'
He was... stunned? amazed? horrified? no idea - but he sat there with his mouth open, making no sound as I got up and walked out.
It's changed shapes a time or two but it's been there for me, day in, day out. I wish I could say the same for my hair - it started to give up before my insurance rates dropped (age 25 in case you don't remember) Such is life.