Taryn over at Glamor the single life (h/t Maggie's Farm) Has a video about things girls say to test guys. She then proceeds to tell men how they should respond. Unsurprisingly, every response is a guarantee that this behavior will continue. So, I recommend you start immediate NEGATIVE reinforcement. Put and end to this self sabotaging behavior.
She says: Seriously you don't have to get me anything.
Correct response: Fantastic! I was saving up, but now I can get the latest Call of Duty!
She says: So... Do you notice anything different about me?
Correct response: Yes, you have less money because you spent it trying trying to make yourself feel better.
She says: Do you think she's pretty?
Correct response: Hell yes! Thanks for pointing her out, you just made my day!
She says: Do I look fat in these jeans?
Correct response: I'm not sure take them off so I have a reference point.
She says: Are you listening to me?
Correct response: ......... silence ...... - unless, you actually were listening, in which case:
Correct response: Not any more.
Girls... here's a thought - try saying what you actually mean, and don't ask questions when you either:
A. Know the answer already.
B. Don't want an answer.
EQUALITY that's my motto.